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This week’s segment is about Detox.

Ladies, you see advertisements for detox everywhere. Detox your hair, your skin, and your colon. Detox the bottom of your feet, detox your vagina…

I will take another swipe at Ms. Paltrow. You do not need to detox your vagina or any other organ for that matter. Your lady parts are brilliant, self-cleaning organs that don’t need Yoni rocks or little herb balls to help. In fact, sticking things in there and leaving it to sit for days is how you get Toxic Shock Syndrome. In other words, nasty, deadly, infection.

This is an example of what not to put in your vagina.

Okay, now that we’ve sorted that out. What about detoxing your face? Surely with all the pollution and nastiness in our environment, we would need to detox our faces, right?

You could just wash it.

Toxins and pollutants are real. If your skin is exposed to the elements, the protective barrier will get broken down. The best way to prevent this from happening? Washing your face. Your gentle cleanser is just as effective at removing toxins from your skin. Moisturizer and sunscreen will also help protect your skin and prevent it from turning into a leathery husk. If you want to put the masks on your face because it’s trendy and fun, I get it. Have fun. But please don’t break your budget on on products that work no better than a cleanser and some sunscreen.

What about other organs? Since Vaginas and skin do not need to be detoxed, what about livers and colons?

You want to detox? Here’s the best way… “The ultimate lifestyle ‘detox’ is not smoking, exercising and enjoying a healthy balanced diet like the Mediterranean diet.”

I understand the urge to chalk up a week of eating ice cream and drinking wine while binge watching Netflix may lead to some bloating. It seems like a great idea to just poop your way thin, but you’re not doing yourself any favors. Your body needs your help to be healthy, this is true. What it does not need is a detox. It needs healthy foods, water, and protection from the elements.